hot sauce (for T.L.)

3/4 cup cider or white wine vinegar
10 fresh chili peppers, de-seeded & de-stemmed
1 1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
2 garlic toes, pressed

bring the vinegar to a boil in a saucepan.
pack all ingredients tightly into a hot jar & cover with boiling vinegar.
cover at once with metal lid, and screw on band. s
tore at room temperature up to 2 weeks.

they put fire back in your belly.

my buddy eric really likes putting robots on his album covers. a few years ago, it came time for another album to be released and thus a new robot to be constructed. he asked me what kind of robots i could draw. i told him i'd never drawn a robot before. he made me draw a robot, and this is what happened:


today, eric sends me an e-mail that he received from a fan of his band with the following picture attached:



perty cool.

dream (again)

i was dressed in red, green & white. pinatas hung from the rafters of my high school gym, and flowers sat clustered in the bleachers. the girls were having their pictures taken behind a screen, when i looked over & saw you standing at the door. i walked over, smiling, naturally. you smiled back and walked towards me, took me by the arm and brought me outside where we sat on an air-conditioning unit that buzzed too loudly for us to speak in secrets. we didn't speak at all, until you looked over and laughed. i laughed and threw my arm around you, said how I missed being with you. It wasn't sad, though -- with a smile on my face. You walked away, turned around and motioned for me to follow you. We took a bundle of daisies and brought them to our bodega guy, like I did that one Christmas with a plate full of food. He pointed us toward a museum. We walked inside, and before we could make it to the giant marble staircase, I turned you towards me and said:

i miss us being like this, and i'm sorry.


you stopped me before i could apologize more than once (my worst habit) by putting your finger over my lips and pulling me in for what seemed like the most natural embrace i'd ever feel:

shhh. we're melding. we're melding again.

good children.

i remember watching you go
& the long walk home
past the blinking light
of the strip clubs & the carl's jr
& i remember brushing your hand
& how it made me feel so sad
i wanted to hold your hand so bad

i should have kissed you when i had the chance

My heart of silk
is filled with lights,
with lost bells,
with lilies and bees.
I will go very far,
farther than those hills,
farther than the seas,
close to the stars,
to beg Christ the Lord
to give back the soul I had
of old, when I was a child,
ripened with legends,
with a feathered cap
and a wooden sword.

-Federico Garcia Lorca

in silence easy.

a KORG, a key, some ghosts, a tree and all the bullshit in between

hold it in your pocket

It doesn't matter what I think anymore, and that's probably what kills the most. I want to run & jump & live in my city, and there's a little understanding in why I can't. I don't really think I get it. I know I don't. I'm living in the past & I'm feeling what comes naturally, so who can fault me there? I wish it would've happened the way it was planned. It's like I'm stuck in the dreamstate & I'm having a party, but no one shows up & it keeps replaying over & over & over & over. I can't talk and I can barely move. I keep looking up with those eyes that only two people have ever been able to understand. I look at your face and you're there and you're waiting for everyone to show up, too. When they don't, you keep looking at me, accusingly, and a wave of guilt overcomes me and knocks me into the grass. I keep looking, and soon, my eyes are welling up, my mouth is opening but nothing's coming out. You looked so angry, but then it's like the curtains drew & you see what I see. You get it. You always end up getting it.

we can buy the time, noel.

keep an eye + on the sky + will they come + Oh the bombs + do you wanna dance + easy now + easy now